Episode #3: Weird Visitors #3: English

May,19 2025

I was tired, I admit it, but Kukey wasn't, and Uke just stared at us "working out" how to talk.

The first few hours alone were tedious. It takes years, perhaps months, to master a new language when you have a common dictionary. It was fooling to think we could successfully talk within a few hours.

And yet, we did it. How?

Well, Kukey isn't human. They have a full and perfect memory which never forgets anything. If I made a comment they didn't understand and 2 hours later, get it, they were then able to recall it and expand on it.

This, is where I failed the most. Many of the words they gave me in their language were too similar to my ears for me to distinguish them.

I had heard that some languages use tone for meaning, like in China, and I got the distinct impression that this is what was happening tonight. Or maybe they have homophones? But they seemed to struggle with our homophones, trying to figure out the different between their and there, for example.

But the second advantage was that it was obvious to me, that Kukey, was a genius. Now, maybe not in science or whatever, I can't evaluate that. However, both their ability to piece things together and ask questions which get to the crux of the issue are flawless.

For example, I had to pee at some point. It's understandable. Now, I am a naturist, but I still felt the need to cover up to pee. Kukey, was surprised by that. I had to admit that this is something that humans feel private about.

But Kukey understood, and asked questions about urine, and asked permission to grab a sample from a leaf.

I couldn't object, and they used a weird device retrieved from the ship by Uke, and then, were excited to show me something on the tablet.

"Kakia in you too"

I looked at the tablet.

"I am not a scientist, but could it be urea?"

"No idea", said Kukey.

But then, they asked a big question, pointing to my penis.

"Pee tube?"

"Penis"

They laughed, probably because Pee and Pe for Penis sound the same.

"homophone."

"Some of your friends not have one"

"Ah. We have males, who have a penis, and females, who have a vagina"

They show me something from their tablet. It's a picture of the plaque from the Pioneer probe"

"Male and female?"

"Yes. Male, men, have a penis, and female, women, have a vagina, and usually breasts"

"Breasts. Penis pee? Breasts?"

"They make milk. Food for babies"

"Babies?"

I ran in a circle, trying to explain how young, and Kukey wasn't getting it until they did.

"Ah. Babies. You, before. New"

"Yes. you have babies?"

"Yes", they touch something on the tablet, and I see a video of a brown egg breaking, and a small centaur leaving it.

"Egg"

"Egg?"

"You are born from eggs. We have live births"

After some explanation, Kukey understood that the egg broke inside the parent, but I had to clarify that the egg, called the placenta, was soft.

"Very different."

"We have animals with egg births"

"Ooh. Not all same?"

"No. Mammals have live births, birds have eggs. Reptiles"

"Learn later"

"Are you male or female?"

"No"

"No?"

"No male or female"

"Can you make an egg?"

"Yes"

"With a partner?"

"Or not"

"Oh?"

"Both male and female. Kukey, one parent. Uke, three"

"Three? So two fertilizations", I said, pronouncing the word for the first time.

"Fertilization? Two other parent. Can be 2, 1 or 0"

"0 makes a clone? A same copy?"

"Yes. Kukey like parent. Uke mix of three. You?"

"One male and one female. Male uses penis in vagina to fertilize female."

Kukey pulls back in horror.

"Pee?"

"No", I laugh. "No, 2 functions"

"How?"

"Private. But is soft, pee, if hard, semen."

"Hard?"

"More advanced topic"

"Ok"

This isn't the first time I use this expression to push our discussions.

"How female pee?"

I laughed. "From a hole near vagina"

"Like Okek"

It's not the first time I have heard that word. I used to think it meant team, but now I think this is the name of their specie.

"Can I ask where?"

They showed me, it's not where I expected it, it's near the front. It's like if a human was mounted on a horse, but that the penis was under the torso and not between the back legs. Probably because their reproductive organs might be at the back, while their excretion is at the front. It's not a good design on Earth anyway, so perhaps they were luckier.

I wasn't ready to talk about human reproduction anyway, so I wasn't about to ask them.

I asked them about their language, written.

They showed me texts, and I could get nothing from it. It was all weird symbols, but they repeated. I asked how many there were, and to my surprise, they said 81.

"It seems to be more"

"Ah. Mixing.", they showed me a symbol.

"Kukey"

"Ah, "ku and key, mixed?"

"Yes. You?"

"25"

"Write them"

They say, giving me the tablet.

I traced an uppercase A and a lowercase one.

"A"

"Two?"

"Uppercase and lowercase"

"Don't understand"

"Let me write more"

I traced each of the letters, uppercase and lowercase, and eventually, got to Z.

"ok, so Luke. My name.", I put an uppercase L, and then lowercase u, k, and e. "Luke", I said.

"Luke. Put Kukey"

I wrote how I imagined it, Ku,k,e,y.

We spent some time with me writing letters, but Kukey seemed to grow bored for the first time. Perhaps because writing wasn't their primary goal, but rather, understanding.

"Why here?"

"Study"

"Why here", I say, pointing to the ground.

They showed me the picture of the Pioneer probe again.

"We were looking for you"

I looked at them.

"There are other humans around"

They showed me pictures of human cities, of humans working in fields, and then, a picture of our town, with our villagers.

"We found you first, the others wrong". I recognize San Diego, Phoenix, Albuquerque and then Desert at the north of Texas, and finally, our little green valley.

I looked at them, and then, laughed.

The Pioneer plaque shows a nude man and woman. Kukey followed the coast, trying to find... naturists!

And since they don't wear clothes either, they didn't seem to understand that the humans wearing clothes, were the same species as us.

Wow.

I yawn. It's going to be the morning soon, and I didn't sleep.

"Sorry, I am tired"

"Tired?"

"I normally sleep at night"

"Sleep?"

I look at Kukey.

"When you close your eyes for the night and do nothing"

They look at me, confused.

"Are you always up?"

"Yes"

"Oh. On this planet, we sleep."

"Strange. Ok. Do you want sleep?"

"I want to talk"

"Me too"

"Your English is getting good"

"English?"

"What we are talking."

"You are human, and speak English?"

"Yes, there are other languages. "

"Confused. "

"Don't worry. Shall we go into town? I am hungry. I could eat"

"Sure"

Uke grabbed a sort of saddle that they put on their back, on which Kukey attached the first box, but also a second one.

Kukey, gets nothing, but talked to me on the way, clarifying other questions that they had from the previous discussions.