Episode #25: Overcoming Trauma #25: Possible New Friends

Jan,31 2026

<-#24: Overcoming Trauma 24: Scheduling

We ended up being at another house, not Greg and Wendy's.

There was a barbecue but also a sort of brick oven.

I discovered that the woman who sat next to me by the pool is named Hanna, with "only one H, at the beginning and two Ns", and that this is her house.

She presented me to her husband. Darren is an African American cop I've seen in the trauma room, but he has no idea who I am. He isn't one of those involved in shootings, just to make this clear. He is a traffic cop and, well, often helps at car accidents as a first responder.

I got to meet Anton, who is Darren's son, and Lizzie, who is their child. What puzzled me is that Anton is 12 and Lizzie is 9, so he got Anton's mother pregnant and then turned around rather quickly and got Hanna pregnant.

And he is raising both kids... I don't think he abandoned Anton's mother. Is he a widower?

I don't feel I can really ask questions, but they were both very nice to me, and Nadia spent some time joking around with Hanna and me while I was heating my pork chops.

Nadia told me that Hanna was an accountant and that she does taxes for a very reasonable fee without any errors"

"Please, you will make me blush", said Hanna.

It's actually Kara who solved my shortage of pork chop problem: I make enough for my family and perhaps for Martina and Luis, but not for a potluck.

Kara cut them into small "bite size " portions to be served "buffet style".

Kelly was there too, and she brought an outstanding quiche, which was also cut into small pieces. I don't know what Kara brought, because I missed her arrival, but I heard people compliment her, so it must have been good.

Greg, Wendy, and Ginny came, but Greg didn't cook, and they didn't bring any food.

Greg is the one who explained. "Whoever receives one week gets a free pass and a ban on cooking the following one"

"That's a nice touch", I told him.

"Yeah. If you ever want to handle the reception, I can let you use my house, and that way, you get the free pass", he says, smiling.

"I already feel bad for last week"

"Hey, those pork chops sure make up for that", he said, smiling.

The mood was very different. The children took two picnic tables, and the adults mostly hovered. It was weird, mostly eating standing up and, well, fully nude, but I got used to it on both counts.

We also shuffled a lot, and I even lost John for a while as he was speaking with Darren and another man I didn't know.

I was with Hanna as I overheard Kara, Kelly, and Wendy in a deep theological conversation I was trying to avoid.

Nadia later came to see me. "I have a perhaps weird proposal"

"Define weird"

"Well, I overheard the kids. They want to sleep outdoors. Like, in a big tent"

"Really? Even mine?"

"Oh yeah. I think all the kids are in. Darren and Hanna volunteered to chaperone, as they feel it's their weekend as community organizers, so perhaps Patrick and I could take your kids' bed in the camper?" she said, nervous"

I smiled. "I think it's a great idea".

It made her smile, and she says. "Then I owe you a hug", She almost ran to her husband, so I shuffled toward mine.

They were talking golf. Of course they were. Frank, Kara's husband, was complaining that Kara only wants to do 7 holes, so he was thrilled to do all 9 with the guys tomorrow"

I looked at my husband, who gave me the context. "Frank, Patrick, Darren, and I will go golf tomorrow"

So my husband is getting closer to Darren too.

My social circle of naturists continues to grow, which is counter to my desire to keep my agency, but on the other hand, I might not get to choose what I wear when I am with my friends, but I get to choose which friend I see.

Provided I appease Nadia's jealousy first, of course!

I never had a lot of food on my plate at any given time, but I got continuous refills of mini portions, and by the end of the meal, I was stuffed.

I spoke to plenty of new people, including some I still don't know the names of, notably a few much older people, but I didn't mind.

Every conversation, even if superficial, was pleasant enough.

Even Kara managed to have a relatively long conversation with me about how I am always welcome to leave some food at her place, notably if it's meant for the potluck.

I thanked her, but she then went on about the history of the potluck schedule, which began when her mother was about our age.

To my surprise, she saluted someone, and an older woman joined us.

"Elena, this is my mother, Myriam."

The older woman shook my hand. "I heard so much about you. You are the trauma nurse that Greg keeps raving about, right?"

"I am. Nice to meet you. You have the same name as in the book of Christopher"

She smiles. "I was named after her."

"How nice", I say, not really sure if it's a good thing or not. It felt like meeting a couple named "Mary" and "Joseph" at Christmas.

"So, Mom, tell her how the potluck started"

"Right, this tradition goes back to Christopher himself! They would work the fields as a town and then share the results"

"You were already inspired when you were young?", I ask, unsure how to reply.

"My mother knew Myriam. She came from the same town but was born after Christopher died"

"And she moved here?", I ask.

"No, jobs left once the community became a resort. Not everyone stayed there. She moved here for a job and helped found this resort", says Myriam.

"Now that is cool", I said.

They agreed, but soon enough, Kara was asked about something, and Myriam went away, and I ended up back with Hanna.

Now that the food was mostly eaten, I saw her with a glass of wine, and somehow, I got the impression it wasn't her first one.

Perhaps because of how much she laughed compared to before the meal?

I decided to gently poke in.

"So Lizzie is your daughter, but Anton isn't your son?"

"Oh, he is"

"I am lost. I thought Darren said he wasn't"

"I adopted him. He is my son, ever since he was, what, 2 years old? Yeah, about that. Adoption was later because of delays and getting his biological mother to sign, which was a pain in itself", she said, rolling her eyes before taking another sip.

"She gave up on him?"

"It's not like she is in a position to help", she says, laughing nervously.

"Oh?"

She actually grabbed my shoulder and got close. I could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"She's institutionalized for severe uncontrollable schizophrenia"

"Oh, I am sorry to hear that"

"Not me", she says, taking another sip.

"I don't understand"

She sighs. "I am Darren's wife, not her. She was just his high school sweetheart, who managed to get her hands on my man while I was depressed"

"Wait, I feel like I am missing a lot of context"

"Right, we just met, like, officially. Ok, I was dating Darren. I knew his ex was trouble and that she wanted him back, sort of. But I didn't, like, worry. "

"You trusted him"

"I did. I still do. This isn't his fault. I was depressed, and when I am depressed, I push people away, you know?"

"Right, so you broke up with him, and he went back to her?"

"Yeah, and she got pregnant. We didn't know; we got back together, and she went, like, cuckoo when she was 6 months in. It took a while for us to accept, but when I took Anton in my arms in that delivery room; I knew I couldn't turn him away"

"Wait, you were in the delivery room with her?"

"Why not? If my future husband were to raise that kid, I would want to be there."

"And you got a paternity test?"

"Of course. I mean, the poor woman has a thin grasp on reality, but yeah, he is 100% Darren's son"

"And good parents who love each other", I say, unsure what to say.

"Oh yeah. We do. Darren still sees his mom a few times per year, but he barely knows her. I mean, no one really knows her, if you know what I mean"

"I do. Mental health isn't easy"

"No, it's not. But I have my own anti-depressants", she says, raising her glass of wine.

Oh boy. Alcohol is a depressant, but I barely know her. I have no idea if she drinks every day, every month, or if she wants help or not. I will wait before I pass any judgments.

The kids and a few of the fathers went to play hide and seek in the dark, now that the meal was truly over.

Nadia came alone and asked if I could take a little walk with her. I was barefoot; she was too, and the sun had set.

I wasn't enthusiastic, but she told me we would walk in the grass, as if that was reassuring enough.

Still, we walked and left the area with the houses. We actually got close to our camper, but the weather was nice, and I could hear some crickets.

But then, she began crying.

"I am such a mess", she says.

"Wait, what am I missing?", I tell her.

"I had yet another huge jealousy crisis. Will you forgive me?"

I look at her. "I already did. I mean, you told me about the laser game thing, and I completely forgot"

"No, nothing is your fault. I have, like, deep-seated jealousy issues"

"Hey, I am not trauma exempt"

"Well, I know that; it's fine for you to have trauma, but I can't afford to lose you"

"You can have your own trauma too, you know?"

"You don't get it, Elena"

"Then make me get it"

We stop walking. She thinks.

"You've met Myriam, right?"

"Kara's mother"

"Yeah, the woman herself. She co-founded this place"

"Right, I was told"

"So Kara grew up here, homeschooled by her mother"

"Ok"

"Kelly too, but her parents didn't co-found the place; they just moved in"

"Fair enough"

"Well, I grew up here too, remember?"

"I do"

"So Kara and Kelly, they were my childhood friends. Like Cassie is with Candace and Sarah, you know?"

"Ok, I didn't realize you were the same age"

"Not quite. Kara is 32, I am 30, and Kelly is 28"

"Oh, I am 32", I say.

"So same as Kara. We still got along. I mean, it's not like there were that many girls to play with. My sister, Kara's sister, but they mostly played with each other, but with us"

"Do they live here?"

"Both moved away, but the point is, Kara and Kelly were both homeschooled, and I wasn't. So I had to get dressed in the morning and get to school, and they stayed and often were homeschooled together. I was always the outsider"

"Wendy wasn't here?"

"Not yet; Hanna moved in as an adult; she is a first-generation naturist, and Martina is quite new"

"So you were often alone?"

"Yeah. Kara and Kelly were then inseparable, and I was always the third wheel. At first, I was smack between them, so they didn't get along with each other, but I did with both. Later, when both hit puberty, I was just about forgotten. The age gap didn't matter as much."

So her rejection of them might not be due to their extremism, but Nadia's rejection of that extremism might be due to her feeling of abandonment.

"So when you heard I went to see Kara, you panicked it was happening again"

"Remember, she was two years older than me. Like, I liked Frank. He was cute, but he only had eyes for Kara, miss perfect"

"He grew up here too?"

"Yeah, but later. Victor was just a visitor with his family"

"And Patrick?"

"Oh, he wasn't a naturist at all. But that's another story. My point is, I am sorry. I will try to do better"

"Nadia, I am getting closer to Martina, but not with Kara. Hanna, maybe too. "

She sighs. "You can be friends with whoever you want, to be honest. I have a problem, and I need to work on it"

I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Nadia, do you know how many adults I had a sleepover with? And I don't mean my husband, you know?"

"I don't know"

"Two"

"There's me; who is the other one? Kara?"

I laugh. "Patrick"

"Oh, right", she says, with a nervous laugh.

"I mean, Nadia, I don't even see the point, so I am not going to invite others"

"Full disclaimer, I had sleepovers with Martina and Hanna and their husbands. I mean, Duh," she says, a little nervous.

"Good. I don't have a jealousy problem with friendship."

"Lucky you"

"But then again, I didn't grow up in such a complicated life as yours", I say.

But the reality is that my life was complicated in other ways. And I knew that when I lost a friend, it wasn't a rejection of me so much as a rejection of all the troubles caused by my mother.

We soon returned to Hanna's house, but it took a while to find our husbands... they were playing hide-and-seek after all.

Why were the fathers hiding too? I don't know; I would have been searching, but then again, Darren was searching, and perhaps they took turns.

I spoke with Hanna, who seemed to have sobered up, despite not a lot of time passing. Social anxiety can come out in weird ways; it's not like I really know the woman.

Soon enough, the kids were settling in a tent, and the four of us were setting up the camper for the night.

This time, I had no trouble finding sleep at all and wasn't triggered in any way by the sleepover.

Am I getting better? I wouldn't count on it yet. Healing isn't a linear process.

<-#24: Overcoming Trauma 24: Scheduling