Episode #29: Overcoming Trauma #29: New Plans

Feb,04 2026

<-#28: Overcoming Trauma #28: Babysitter

I woke up happy. I had a great time before bed with John and felt hopeful for the future.

And I even had slept well, but I always sleep better after enjoying time with John.

But then, as I began moving in bed, trying not to wake up John, I panicked. He wasn't in bed.

I look, and it's still 30 minutes before my alarm. I turn it off and leave the bedroom, finding John at the kitchen table, building something.

"John?"

"Elena! Come here, I have it"

"You have what?"

"Everything!"

I grab a towel and sit, looking at what he has.

There are a few sheets of paper with shapes drawn on them. I could see some of Martina's construction paper she left and parts of Amazon boxes, probably fished from the garage recycling bin, and made a flat rectangle, and in the middle, there is a sort of column.

"What do you mean, everything?"

"I've been feeling depressed at work. I feel better emotionally, but my creativity is blocked. I began making new designs, and now, everyone just wants a remix of my previous work. This... This is new"

"What is that?"

"Luis's house at the resort"

"Huh?"

"Ok, I couldn't sleep. So I began brainstorming"

"And this is it?"

"Well, yes, and no. I had this idea..."

He searches for a sheet of paper. When he finds it, he pushes everything else aside.

He keeps going. "Ok, so in a house, the pipes and wires and everything are on the outside. In the walls."

"Sure, we need to plug things in"

"Yeah, but is that the right way?"

I laugh. "Where else would you put them?"

"Well, in a center column"

I look at him. "John, you can't be serious"

"But I am. Ok, so this is a design I like", he says.

I look at it. The house is divided into 4 rooms. There's a kitchen/dining room that takes up a little more than one corner, as the next one is the restroom. The other half is for the bedroom and the living room.

But only the bathroom has walls.

"So in this setup, the plumbing and ducts are in the central column. The kitchen sink is in the corner of the kitchen, next to the column. The single solid wall provides power for the living room and plumbing for the restroom"

"But no power for the bedroom, John? Seriously?"

"Wait, I am not done."

"Ok"

"Instead of running the power lines in the walls, I run them under the floor, from the center column"

"How does that help?" I say.

"No wiring at all in the external walls. That means that if we want to cut a wall open to add a new bedroom, we can. There are no pipes, no wires. And Luis would save a ton on the electrician because, get this, I plan to prefabricate the central column with the HVAC external unit on the roof"

"Why?"

"So we just install it! Sure, we need the electrician to hook it up, but it's faster than putting everything in on site"

"And the ceiling lights?"

"None. We put a power outlet near the top and bottom of the column and a switch between them that controls them so we can plug in a wall light or something"

"That's not practical"

"No, but it's cheap. And many contractors don't even put in ceiling lights anymore in bedrooms because they cost too much in wiring"

"Ok, but don't the building codes require them or something?"

"No, but here is the best part. We don't anchor the house. We put it on cement blocks, and we put wheels under it, so it's officially a camper even if they don't actually work. That way, no building permit, no city inspection."

"You really thought it out. But didn't he complain about sheetrock being expensive?"

"Ah, but we will not use sheetrock. We'll use plywood"

I laugh. "Isn't that ugly?"

"Well, it can still be painted, and, well, you can put plaster to make it less rough"

"Is that allowed?"

"In a house? No. It's not fire retardant, but in a homemade camper? Sure."

I look at him. I see him as more alive than he has been over the last few months.

I noticed that there was fresh coffee, and it was about time for my first cup, so I got one and began preparing my breakfast.

"I say nothing to Martina, right?" I ask him as he is making a new drawing.

"Right. I need to speak with Luis first. I am trying to do everything to reduce material costs, but often, that increases his work."

"Which he might be fine with"

"Yeah. Especially my plan to make this modular"

"What do you mean?" I ask as my pair of toast pops out. I take another sip of coffee and start eating.

Right, I often eat my breakfast standing up. I don't know why. I just do.

"I think we could make this a sort of Lego house. You know, like a camper you can expand and such"

"By adding more rooms?"

"Yeah"

"Which won't have electricity or ducts because it's only in the core, John"

He looks at me.

"God, you're so sexy when you're right"

I look at him. "You haven't spoken to me like that since... before we even had kids"

"I know! I am trying to get closer to me. To express myself more"

"Well, it's working," I say, smiling.

"What if...", he says, looking at his papers.

There is a pause. I peel an orange and get some juice on me. Well, no clothes to change! I just use a hand towel and wipe the juice from my arm.

"Ok, I have it. An L-shaped pillar"

"What do you mean?"

"Ok, my idea is that we have the pillar, which holds the floor up, but also the electricity and so on, but I intended to route that under the floor, which isn't ideal"

"Yeah", I say, but honestly, I don't fully understand. I just trust him.

"But that wall between the restroom and the living room, I could build the connections for the water and the electricity and put in a duct."

"Ok", I just agree. What else can I say?

"That way, when we add a new room, we add it on the side of the living room or of the restroom, with its own extension and pillar so that we just move the connection points", he says.

I look at him.

"Yeah, Elena, that would work. We just need to expand always in one direction"

"Well, you need your plot of land to allow that anyway."

"The land! I didn't even think of that. Ok, so we put the connection at the back. I've seen the houses; they are all the same distance from the road and all roughly the same width. The difference is their depth."

I look at him. "It sounds like you have a good plan. I'll go get dressed for work"

But he follows me, and we actually have some quick quality time together before I get to work.

I didn't complain, and I even welcomed it but made a mental note to not do it again, as I need my full concentration at work. It did wonders for my anxiety...

At work, I was simply too busy to even think about hiding John's plan from Martina. I even ate rushing in a staff room, not having time to go down to the cafeteria.

When will people learn to drive? It's not that complicated. Look everywhere, use your blinkers, keep a reasonable distance in front of you.

I did have time to thank her again and even offered to repay the supplies, but she reminded me that she saved on a meal, so we are even.

Well, soon we might not be, but that's another story.

I made it home, exhausted. I did leave late but still made it before my kids.

Now, before you worry, I do have a plan if I miss their arrival. William lives just a few houses down the road, and his mother works different hours than I do.

No, they won't walk to her home; I text or call her, and she goes to my house to welcome them after William is dropped off, with William in her car.

Still, I was cutting it close.

I barely had time to clean up the mess John left on the counter. Not his construction, the lunch-making stuff, and the dishwasher wasn't started.

I could almost picture how the morning went. The kids woke up; he was deep into architect mode and needed to clear the table for them to eat. But he didn't want to just clear the table, for it was his workspace.

It took time, and he rushed to feed them and get them their lunches, and in the end, I see his lunch box and smile as he missed making his own lunch.

I go in our bedroom and find his mess on the bed, just as the kids get in.

They are surprised to find me dressed but relieved to hear the dishwasher and find the kitchen clean.

After hugs and the three of us undressing, I get the play-by-play from the morning, which basically confirms my suspicions.

To my surprise, however, John doesn't eventually arrive alone; he is with Luis. They don't even undress. I do get a kiss.

Excited, he shows Luis his work this morning, but also new plans he sneakily made in the office. Not that he told that to Luis, but I knew.

They ended up talking in the living room as I was serving my kids supper. I did offer Luis a plate, but he was "just passing by". I put a plate upside down on my husband's plate, and we ate, mostly in silence, as their excitement was a little too loud for us to speak.

And like that, Luis left, apologizing to me and my kids, and my husband began his plate still dressed.

I almost said nothing, but I just cleared my throat.

"Sorry, I asked him questions, and I ended up spoiling my whole plan. He wanted to see and..."

I stop him. "No, that's fine. But here is a rule in this house now that all adults have to follow"

"Huh?"

Sarah laughs. "You are wearing clothes, Dad"

He laughs a little, leaves for the bedroom, and returns.

"Wait, only the adults?" says Kyle.

"The rule for kids is that you can be nude", I said. "I am not going to force you"

"Oh, but if I want it to be a rule?" he says.

"Do you want that?"

"Well, yeah. Because Sarah loves it for itself, but like, I don't know what I like. It's easier for me to follow a rule than to decide"

I look at him.

"I feel like we need to have a talk about that"

He sighs. Like a teenager. I don't like that. I am not ready for Sarah to go full teenager mode; I am even less ready for my baby to do so too.

"That came out wrong", he says.

"No, I think it came out just the way you thought, and you are afraid of the consequences. I won't punish you for having an opinion. If there are days you want to stay dressed at home, you can. Even at the resort, kids can stay dressed"

Sarah decided to cut in.

"Listen to me, Kyle, I know you've been following me in this, and you like Jimmy. But Mom's thing about our family was for her. Not for us. If you want to put clothes on, I am fine with it. I am not getting dressed, but you can do what you want"

John spoke up. "Yeah, Kyle. We can still have our sport moments, even at the resort, if you are dressed"

"No, it did come out wrong," he said, a little frustrated.

I signal Sarah and John to let me talk.

"Kyle, can you try to explain it to me, please? I won't judge you"

He takes a pause but eventually speaks up.

"Jimmy says that clothes are evil. That people who wear them are sinners. I am not one. I am just a kid. I don't steal, I don't push, and I don't lie. I don't see what being evil and wearing clothes have to do with each other"

"Sure, and you can think differently than Jimmy", I say.

"And I do. And I like wearing clothes in schools and playing with William, Emily, and Jacob"

"Emily?" I say, curious.

"She's a friend. She is cool"

I make a note, but I listen.

"So when I get home, I am not lonely yet. I remember playing with them, and I want to do it again tomorrow, so I don't see why I should be naked, because I am not naked when I am with them"

"I get that", I say, not correcting him to "nude".

"But if I do get naked, then I connect with you guys. And with Jimmy, and with Cassie, and with Ginny, and well, it's like my brain changes who I want to be"

"And that worries you?"

"No, I am fine with that"

"So what is the problem?"

"The problem is that I like who I am at school, and I like who I am at home, naked. How can I decide to go from one person I like to another person I like? I don't want to make that choice."

I laugh, and I am sorry, but I do. It's so... 9-year-old in thinking.

"So you want me to help you disconnect from school by changing what you are wearing so you can be more in the present"

"Yeah"

"Is that why you needed time in your room before homework?"

"I needed to say goodbye to my friends in my heart"

I not only went "awww", Sarah did it too.

"Kyle, that is very sweet of you. Listen, new plan: if you want, I will order you to be nude at home, but I want you to remember that if you want to change this rule, you can."

"Thank you Mom"

Sarah laughs. "I am the one person who wanted naturism the most, and apparently, the only one allowed to wear clothes in this house"

It's John who speaks up. "Well, you are the only one who doesn't need to be pushed into it, ever"

She thought and went. "Oh yeah. I didn't think of that"

We finished supper, and we ended up playing a board game. We had fun.

And that night, we still did John's homework even if we did a practice in the morning. Again, no complaints.

<-#28: Overcoming Trauma #28: Babysitter