I read some of my old stories and feel ashamed

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Published on 26.11.19 06:15 Age: 5 yrs
Category: Blog

Letters : 7334 Words : 1382


After half a decade without thinking about this site, I decided to write more stories, so I had to read old stories and they made me cringe.

First, the written is horrible. I'll be the first to admit it. Plenty of typing errors, grammar problems and in many cases, this then that story telling.

What is that? It's a "I go here, then I do this, and then I do that".

In my mind, I had been a better writer!

But the worst of all, is the fact that I am massively reusing tropes.

Both in Bliss and Catherine Reynolds, the main female character is a devout naturist woman who was introduced to naturism by her late husband. Come on!

Most of my characters are teenagers, and almost all stories feature a romantic angle where one of the characters is a naturist and the other isn't (or is less into naturism than their new partner).

Perhaps I was blind to it. Perhaps I wasn't taking the time to see it. Perhaps I was caught in my own personal problems.

Let me explain. I didn't grow up a naturist. I discovered naturism not in one step, but in 4. That apparently, is rather odd...

The first beat was when my family rented a boat on a vacation when I was 9 and we traveled up a river and crosses a nude beach. Everyone on the beach was nude, including kids my age, and I distinctly remember that everyone seemed happy. Why do I remember that? No idea, but my parents divorced about a year later so I suspect that we were all unhappy. I have zero idea where that beach is and any attempts to ask my parents got stonewalled.

The second beat was when one of my friends and I found 2 naturist magazines in his basement that were hidden by his older brother. We were 11. My friend thought these were porn magazines but I remembered clearly the nude beach. It's only years later that I met his brother as a naturist event, so that explains the magazines, but I digress. I read some of the articles and realized that the nude beach wasn't just a freak thing like my mother claimed but an actual lifestyle.

For years, it stayed in my mind, until, when I was 15, we were a bunch of friends around a fire, on a summer evening, when one of the older "kids" in the gang I didn't know (he was 19), explained that his girlfriend and he were nudists. Not naturists mind you... nudists. Well, not really. They went to a nude beach, and we got the clear impression from them talking that it was more of a sex thing than a naturist thing. Today, I don't know how truthful it was, but I got to ask a few questions and it deepened my understanding of naturism. In the first beat, I saw naturists. In the second, I read about, and now, I had a couple I could ask questions to!

The 4th beat occurred a year later. I had a girlfriend and we were browsing thru her photo albums and there there, on a page, there was naturist picture. Just one mind you, but it was a picture of her by a pool, nude, with her brother in the water and her mother just as nude, beside her. Her father took the picture.

It blew my mind! She explained that sometimes, her family went to a naturist resort for their vacation. Not always but sometimes. We talked at length, and spent quite a lot of time nude in her house when were her parents and brother weren't there, and after she talked to her brother, even when he was (he stayed dressed and mostly in his room). Her parents were open-minded so I could sleep over and we would sleep nude in her bed.

After a month or so, she told me she had told her mother, and once (and only once), we were nude in her house with her mother present. I didn't mind, but my girlfriend didn't like it so that was it. She broke up with me soon after and gave up naturism altogether (well, according to her brother, when I saw him a few years later).

But I didn't.

I made a new girlfriend, after a few months introduced her to naturism and it's only years later that I managed, once we were married, to get her to really accept naturism. It was a struggle during those years and it's only after I wrote some of the stories for this site that it was truly settled (one doesn't have anything to do with the other, it's just a coincidence)

We've had two kids since then (I spoke about it earlier), first a daughter and then a son. Both enjoyed naturism, but stopped when they became teenagers due to changes in their bodies.

My son was the first to return to it. Both know my wife and I went to naturist events and last summer, he asked if he could join us. our daughter stayed home and we had fun, the three of us.

It's only a few weeks ago that our daughter opened up. She felt (as a young teen) that naturism was mostly for older people in general, and guys in particular. Our son had played at a naturist resort with visited with a guy roughly his age but our daughter never made a friend.

This made me realize how rare female naturists are compared to the men! We began looking around and found a family centered non-landed club about a 90 minutes drive away. We went (just the 3 of us, our daughter stayed home) and discovered a more balanced gender ratio and a few teenagers and young adults (including a girl roughly my daughter's age). We spoke to the organizers (casually, it's not like we cornered them) and he explained that many families felt the same way as our daughter does. He offered to let her remain dressed at first if she wanted, to get used to it.

On the next event, two weeks later (a month ago), the four of us took the drive and my daughter ended up undressing right away. The had fun with the few kids her age (and not just the girl). We sent back two weeks ago, and last week-end.

Our daughter, like I said earlier, realized that peer-pressure had gotten the best of her and she had kind of blocked naturism since it made her different.

So why I am telling you all of this?

Because I want to try to focus more on the boys. On the non-romantic relationship aspects of naturism. This is where Jacob in college comes from. I am not sure I can do much on grammar and prose style, but I will try to avoid widows, women introducing a new boyfriend to naturism, shocked discoveries of a person being a closest naturist (like Mark with Jenny).

And I will try to put more men in my stories who are more than just the partner of a female naturist.

I did that last one in Bliss, Mark and Jenny, Catherine Reynolds. The other storied, The Deserted Beach, Susanna's world and A fiery teenager, are all centered on women, in part because I am an heterosexual man. I personally enjoy more thinking about women than men.

But here is the thing, do you know why the second book from the "How Kristen spent her summer vacation" isn't published on this site? Because Kristen is BARELY a naturist story and the second book clearly isn't one. As time goes by, it drifts more and more into a voyeur/exhibitionist fantasy as Kristen spends more and more time nude outside of the beach. I had to stop reading and even the author, when he gave me permission to use his first book, recommended I didn't put the second.

Well, guess what? What's the difference with a Fiery teenager? What is the difference with Mark and Jenny? Just because I am a naturist and Nemo isn't doesn't give me an excuse.

I have to do better, and I will try to do so. After all, my daughter (who loves to read) is interested in my stories and I don't want to disappoint her.

I do have a new story featuring a main female character and that one will stay: it's in part inspired by my daughter.



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