Episode #20: Overcoming Trauma #20: Seven again

Jan,26 2026

<-#19: Overcoming Trauma #19: Kelly#21: Overcoming Trauma #21: Thursday ->

I ate again with Martina, but we had a new nurse sitting in with us: Wendy, Greg Phillips' wife and mother to Ginny.

Martina didn't have any churros with her, but it's not like I expected her to. She nonetheless apologized, and it taught me something about her.

We connected over her churros, so she is trying to maintain the friendship on that basis.

I did tell her that I met Kelly the previous day,

"How was she?" asked Wendy.

"Good, she told me a little about Christian Naturism. I liked what she told me"

"You should talk to Kara; she is just the best", said Martina.

"I don't know. I always thought Kelly made more sense. She is the one who inspired me to join the movement", said Wendy.

"Wait", I say. "I thought you didn't really believe in Christian Naturism?"

"As defined by Kara? No, I don't. As defined by Kelly, I am all in", says Wendy.

"Ok, you lost me", I say but it's Martina who explains.

"Both believe that sin came in from shame. I do too"

"Same here", says Wendy.

"And that shame is why we wear clothes, so to avoid sin and get closer to God, we need to avoid clothing"

"I understood that"

Wendy adds. "Good. Are you on board too?"

"Well, I am thinking about it"

Wendy smiles. "My husband is on board with that too, for the record", she adds.

"Where they differ, and where Greg and I differ, is in the place of nudity in relation to sin"

"Oh?" I say.

"Kelly thinks of nudity like communion. You engage in nudity with God to show your commitment, to atone for your sins, and to, well, recharge spirituality", says Martina.

"I am on board with that too. It's why we live at the resort.", says Wendy.

"I can see it. Not quite, but give me time, and I'll see what I think about it", I say.

"It's all we ask. You don't have to believe that to hang with us", says Wendy.

I nod.

"But Kara, she sees it differently", says Martina.

"And this is where I am on the fence, but where Greg is clearly against", says Wendy.

I lean forward as if this were some great secret.

"To Kara, dressing up is hiding the work of the Lord, and as such, a sin in itself", says Martina

"And you think that?"

"With all of my heart. But I am still conflicted about it. It's my goal, but I am not yet there", says Martina.

"Same for me, but differently," says Wendy.

"Oh?" I say, again.

"For me, well, I am a nurse. I need to dress to get to work. I have eliminated from my life all other moments when I need to wear clothes, so I am as close to Kara's ideals as I can be. But I am not ready to give up on my patients"

I laugh. "Maybe we should set up a long-term care facility at the resort and both work there", I say, joking.

She looks at me.

"That's actually my early retirement plan," Wendy says, serious.

"For real?"

"Oh yeah. We are saving money for it; we have people interested in helping"

"My husband will volunteer to help build it", says Martina.

"But it's still a few years away", says Wendy.

Wow, I am speechless, and fortunately, my lunch break is over.

When I finally get home, however, I soon find not two but three kids in my house, as Cassie came home with Sarah on the bus.

I don't mind; she is a good friend, but before I can start making supper, Nadia drops by with pizza, breaking every plan I had.

It's good news, don't get me wrong, but just unexpected.

John came home soon after, thrilled to see Nadia but even more so when he learned that Patrick was coming over.

The girls had been on Captain Toad since they finished their homework, but the good news is that they actually finished it!

The plan was to leave the game here so that Kyle could have his turn after watching the girls play for so long. That was nice of them.

To my relief, no religious talk occurred, not even an invitation for Sunday's service.

Instead, the men talked about a new housing project designed by my husband and for which Patrick will do the masonry, while Nadia and I talked about, well, Martina.

Nadia learned of my visit to her apartment, and about our lunches together. I was afraid of being judged. Of receiving a comment like "You and I are best friends; it's me or Martina" or perhaps some jealousy that Martina was her friend first and foremost.

Instead, I got excitement.

"Martina is so cool. I like her a lot. I am happy you are connecting with her"

"I also ate with Wendy. She is a nurse at the same hospital"

"Cool. I like her too."

"And I went to see Kelly yesterday."

"Oh", said Nadia, closing up a little.

"You don't like her?"

"You know I don't"

"Yeah, but Candace..."

"Candace is great."

"Yeah", I say, but that wasn't the opinion of Sarah.

I feel like I am on thin ice.

But Nadia turns positive. "But the best is that you are integrating into the gang. That's really amazing", she says, smiling. "I don't mind if you become friends with Kelly or even with Kara. I have some fun with them. But they aren't really close friends, you know?"

I think. "I do."

It's enough for Nadia. I could have said more, like how each woman offered a different point of view or a slightly tweaked philosophy, including her, but what use was it?

She told me stories about her job. Stuff that just went well over my head.

But she was interesting and had a knack for making it just on the border of being understandable.

I don't know quite what AWS is, but when she talks about copying containers to save a project, I get a grasp of what she means. It's like having too much juice and adding more glasses to contain the extra. She even approved my analogy.

I told her about some of the cases I had that day, and it was refreshing that she listened even if she didn't get the details.

Maybe she knows how it can feel when she is talking about her job and is trying to be how she wants me to be on those occasions?

"You know what I like about hanging out with you like this?" she says.

I have a million theories, but I decide to just pretend ignorance.

"Most women would suggest opening a bottle of wine. Like alcohol was the only way to hang out"

"Yeah", I say. I've known people like that. I've been like that... But alcohol does make me tired, almost sleepy, so I stopped.

There was just enough silence between us to hear the man laughing about a foreman who takes things too seriously and the girls excited that this seems to be the last stage.

"They are something, aren't they?", says Nadia.

"What do you mean?"

"We each had sex with our husbands, and from that act of love, our first child, each of us a girl, began to grow in our bodies. We were pregnant at the same time; we didn't know each other, but later, those little bundles of mixed DNA met in school, became friends, and connected us."

"Yeah. Said like that..."

"I mean, would you have imagined hanging out in your kitchen, nude, with a woman a few years younger than you?"

"Never."

"And I can imagine this nudity, but having such a good friend? No. Not after being surrounded by Kellys and Karas, and even Martinas. And I love that girl. She can cook like no one else can. But like, something's off with her"

"What do you mean?"

She straightens herself.

"Did you apologize for not undressing initially? I mean, not after, when you still had that sundress. Did you say something like, I am sorry I am not nude like you?"

I think back. "I don't think so"

"See, you live like me. With a head tall with pride. You have your doubts, your trauma, but you articulate and express them with such clarity and confidence. I am in awe! You inspired me, Elena"

I am touched. "You inspire me too. I mean, you don't ask permission or forgiveness. You just want what is best for everyone"

"Damn right I am. I told you, if we were gay, we would own the world, you and I. Alas, we are not. But Martina, she isn't like that at all."

"She isn't?"

"No, she's like... sorry she exists. It's annoying. I try to tell her to be damn proud of who she is, but she self-isolates"

"Self-isolates?"

"Yeah. Like, ok, at the barbecue, you spoke to her, right?"

"I did"

"Do you know why?"

"No, she was there; that's it"

"Yeah, Kara, Kelly, Wendy, everyone likes Martina, but she is so convinced that she is bothering everyone that she doesn't mix with us."

"Oh. Like how she didn't think we should undress in her apartment"

"Yeah. She did that to me too! Like, as if her place was not worthy of naturism. What's up with that?", says Nadia, all close and conspiratorial.

This is how many female friendships are forged... through gossip.

"I think she isn't where she wants her life to be"

"Oh, I get that. But she is where we want her to be. I mean, we want a friend, not a... Wait, where does she want to be?"

I don't want to open the Christian Naturism box, so I just reply. "More like the three of you."

She scoffs. "Bullshit. She wants to be like Kara."

"Well, yeah"

"That's why I don't like Kara that much. Did you know that?", Nadia says.

"Huh?"

"Kara is idealized. Every new person who joins our group sees Kara as this perfect woman. Well, she farts and poops like everyone else", says Nadia.

Honestly, if we were drinking, this is where I would cut her off, but I could see what she meant.

Was this the problem? Nadia claimed that Kara, and by association, Kelly, were boring. I certainly could see that Kelly has nothing else to talk about but religion and her kids. That can be seen as boring.

But perhaps Nadia has a form of jealousy for them. Or maybe it's my own projections?

When it was time for them to leave, Cassie wanted to sleep over, but even Nadia reminded her that it was a school day and that they needed to get home.

Cassie complained a little, but I think that Sarah needed some alone time, so she was perhaps happy that her friend left.

I was happy mine left too. I like her. She is still my new best friend, but I am starting to see her flaws, which only makes her more human.

But then again, I have my flaws, and what makes her my best friend is that she makes me feel human despite them.

<-#19: Overcoming Trauma #19: Kelly#21: Overcoming Trauma #21: Thursday ->