Episode #39: Overcoming Trauma #39: Sleeping In

Feb,14 2026

<-#38: Overcoming Trauma#38: Back in Trauma

Well, the rest of the week went on just as well as you could expect.

Anya spent less and less time in her wheelchair each day. I got one more feminicide, with the husband not even taking the coward's way out and being arrested at his home, and the reading about defensive baking continued.

Sarah went to Cassie's home Wednesday after school, using the school bus, to work on a class project.

Nadia ended up feeding her, and since John went to help Luis on the construction site, I ate just with my little guy, Kyle.

It was nice. I managed to know more about his mode switching, but not a lot more. It's not like he is mature enough yet to fully understand his internal universe, but he is getting there.

We both went to pick up Sarah, but we ended up staying in the car. Sarah was having a Cassie overload, and it's not like Nadia could easily leave the house to greet me. That's a drawback of naturism. I also had a Nadia overload from the previous talk, so this suited me fine.

John actually came back while I was away, so we have some family time before the bathtime and bedtime routines.

In bed, he told me how well the work was going.

"The bases of 3 houses are made, and I helped mount the wall on our house. He thinks that by Friday, we'll both have something livable, but at different levels"

"What do you mean, different levels?" I asked in the bathtub, next to him.

"He actually put in his flooring and has kitchen cabinets coming in tomorrow. He is splitting his time between the general building of the houses and finishing his own"

"Already?"

"Hey, he got the plumber in today. The 3 houses have toilets, and tomorrow is the electrician"

"That fast?" I am impressed.

"Well, that's the thing. I made a design to reduce the labor cost"

"Like what?" I said, curious.

"Well, you know that the interior walls are plywood sheets. They are 4 feet by 8 feet. So, the ceiling is 8 feet above the ground, and the interior of the house is 24 feet wide, or exactly 6 panels. No cutting at all! And the same for the floor. That means no cutting up at all. I also optimized the 2 by 4s. It's just a nail here, a screw there, and bam, you have a house"

"It's brilliant"

"We couldn't do that had we put wires or pipes in the walls, but now, it's easy. He just cuts out the windows and the two doors"

"But then the finishing takes time"

"Which he does at night. He can't easily work in the dark outside, but placing some lights in his house lets him roll down the vinyl flooring"

"Vinyl?"

"Yeah, they make this wood imitation vinyl. Easy to install, low cost, durable, and comfortable on bare feet"

"Will we have that too?"

"Tonight or tomorrow for ours. He did his house; I went to check, and it looks great."

"This... is making me dizzy", I say.

"I know! This weekend, he plans to start 3 more houses, but with Martina to help him. I think she is about to resign"

"Was she there?" I ask.

"Oh yeah, and working hard! She's tougher than I thought."

And he was right! On Friday, Martina told everyone that this was her last day at the hospital. And to my surprise, she was totally open and transparent about what she was doing.

"I am moving in full-time at a naturist resort."

A few people knew what naturist meant, but she had no shame at all telling everyone what it meant. To her credit, she only implicated herself and her husband, and no one seemed to connect her and me.

The illusion that I was a textile was preserved!

To my surprise, Oliver, a young pediatric doctor who often consults in the ER, asked a ton of questions about the resort.

He even came to eat with Martina and me, as he explained that he comes from an almost naturist family.

"We didn't live on a resort; in fact, I never visited one or knew they existed. I grew up on a farm, and, well, we just were usually nude in the house or even in the fields"

"That's so cool" thought Martina.

"When I hit puberty, I sort of no longer wanted to be naked in front of my parents"

Martina told him it was perfectly normal.

"It's only when I presented my girlfriend to my parents that, well, it got awkward at first", he said, a little nervously.

I asked him. "What, were they naked?"

"Yeah, but the worst is, soon enough, so was she!"

"Wait, was she a naturist too?" said Martina.

"No, she said that she just wanted to be accepted by them, but soon enough, she enjoyed it, and well, so did I. We are usually naked at home now, just casually, but we didn't know there were places to do that"

"Oh yeah, but we prefer the term 'nude' to 'naked.' You should come over this weekend", said Martina.

He nodded a little too quickly for someone who just heard about this kind of place.

I almost blushed; I would be there too over the weekend. But I suppose that if he comes, he won't make fun of me like some immature people might at the hospital.

Soon enough, we were back, on Friday afternoon, at the naturist resort.

This time, however, the kids didn't realize a few things.

I had filled the trunk of our car with food, but also with our microwave, our Instant Pot, our pillows, comforters, and sheets. I wasn't fully certain of how we would sleep, but when we made it to the construction site and toured the three houses, I became convinced.

Luis was a miracle worker! Martina was there to greet us, excited about her new life. She gave us the tour, while her husband kept working on the interior of the third house.

Fine, the interior was rough. There was a vinyl floor, which looked rather good, but the walls were just barren plywood, the kitchen cabinets were not installed, and the restroom didn't have a door or a shower yet.

We were soon enough left, just the four of us, in our second house.

I asked Sarah. "How much would you like to sleep in the house that your father designed?"

"Could we? It's so cozy. I love"

"Even if it's not fully finished?" said John.

"Yeah. I mean, the cabins here aren't nicer. Sure, the unfinished kitchen is creepy, and the missing shower is scary"

I laugh. "Scary?"

"The drain is just there... unconnected. I don't like that", she said.

"I find it funny", said Kyle.

I know that when he builds houses in Lego, he loves to leave gaps and holes. It's like a fascination for him. He also always wants to go to the restroom at the mall, but not the one in the food court; no, the one opposite, because to get to it, we need to use the service corridors in the middle of the mall.

The one used by employees for deliveries. Why they buried the restroom there, I will never know, and I never bothered to ask John if he has an idea.

"So do you like the house?" I asked

"I love it", said Sarah.

I look at John. He nods.

"Dad couldn't accept money for the design work because of his work contract. His job doesn't let him have a side job"

"Oh. That's sad. So he did it for free?" said Sarah.

"Not quite. He is getting paid, just not in money"

"In what?" asked Kyle, suddenly excited.

I know why! Last year, in class, they explained what money is, what it's used for, why we made it. Basic social science stuff with some math co-teaching. But the teacher spoke about bartering, and for some reason, that resonated with Kyle.

The idea that before money, we needed to use other systems to trade triggered his imagination. We actually try to stimulate it, and we did research with him and found out about LETS, or Local Exchange Trading Systems.

He found it fascinating until he realized that the "scrip" they use are just alternative dollars and that there was no LETS group in town that we could find.

Despite multiple attempts, neither John nor I could get Kyle's fascination with alternatives to money. Is it from video games he played or TV shows he watched?

The problem is that he was only 8 then. It's possible he only had a partial understanding of the world. It's in fact likely he still only had a partial understanding of it...

"Well, Luis gets paid by the resort for his work of building many houses for them with his house"

"Yeah, the houses that Dad designed", said Sarah, proud.

"Indeed. And Dad is getting paid with this house"

Her eyes seemed to widen.

"Are we moving here?" she said, overexcited, unable to hide that this is something I know she wants.

"No, but we are getting a place to stay when we visit"

Sarah jumped and hugged me and then her father.

"This is so cool", she said, and Kyle was happy too!

We talked and toured again. The plan was to place bunk beds in what is supposed to be the living room, but because we wouldn't be actually living there, we barely need one.

We would sacrifice the living room for a bedroom for the kids.

It wouldn't be as big as the master bedroom, because otherwise, we couldn't put a door for that bedroom.

It's simple geometry. The house is basically divided into 4 rooms.

One side has the kitchen and the restroom. To get from the kitchen to the restroom, there is supposed to be a door. It's not installed yet, but it will be.

On the kitchen side, there isn't a wall to the living room; it's all open space. From the living room to the bedroom will be open space in the rental cabins, but we will put a wall in our house. In Martina's and Luis' too.

Between that bedroom and the restroom is the utility wall with pipes and electrical cables. No door can be placed there.

As such, the bedroom needs a door, and if we close the living room into a second bedroom, there is no place to put a door

So, we will put the door next to the center column and close the kids' bedroom next to it, with their own door on that wall.

Still, it's not like they need a closet or anything. Even if we stay for a week next summer, they don't need to bring clothes... that's the point of a naturist resort!

Kyle insisted on getting the top bunk, and Sarah didn't mind. To my surprise, however, neither of them complained about sharing a room, but they did share a bed in the camper, so perhaps I was nervous for nothing.

We dropped off our food at Kelly's place, who was excited to see us, and she insisted on a potluck exchange.

I had prepared my American chop suey, which is a misnomer. It's pasta in rich tomato sauce but prepared more like a chili.

Kelly had homemade chicken pot pie, which interested Sarah a lot more than my meal, but Jimmy preferred my recipe, which he was unfamiliar with.

John and Victor ate a little bit of both.

Kelly tried my meal, and I had a few bites of hers, but it's after the meal while watching the kids in the pool that we shared personal tastes. She doesn't like tomato sauces much, and I don't particularly care for chicken pot pie. Hers was good, but not good enough for me to prefer it.

I thanked her for her honesty, and we ended up both laughing that deep down, we are just insecure cooks.

"Want to host the common barbecue with me tomorrow?", she asked.

"I don't have enough food for everyone"

But she leaned closer. "I'll supply a ton of my beef. I was thinking of making a beef roast, but Victor tells me that John bragged about yours"

"He did?" I said, surprised.

"So, perhaps, I am just spitballing; you would help me with the roast tomorrow afternoon and, from your supplies, share what I only assume to be mac and cheese?"

"Yeah. My kids love it. I brought my Instant Pot to make it, since, well, we don't have an oven yet"

"Wait, you can make mac and cheese in an Instant Pot?"

"And roast..."

"That I knew. I use my Instant Pot for it. Ok, I want to know how you do it!"

"I'll show you tomorrow"

Hanna soon came to join us with Anton and Lizzie, who jumped with Kyle and Jimmy to play, while Anton joined Sarah and Candace.

This surprised me, that the kids would split by age rather than gender, but there is a large gap in maturity between being 9 and being 11.

And Anton is a rather gentle and kind boy.

Hanna was thrilled to see me, and I could only think about what Nadia told me about her. I made an effort, and pushed it away.

"The houses are getting along rather well"

"They are! We'll sleep in ours tonight"

Hanna was surprised. "Really? That's awesome. Would you guys be interested in a used fridge?"

"A big one or..."

"Well, a 28-inch. Full height."

"Perhaps, do you have one for sale?"

She laughs. "No, not me, but Grace does"

Kelly reacts. "What's happening with Grace?"

"Nothing, her son graduated college"

"Already?"

"He did last spring, but the job search isn't going well, so his girlfriend and he will move in with Grace"

"Wait, he got a naturist girlfriend in college?" says Kelly.

"You've seen her! Isabella", says Hanna.

"Right, dark hair, super nice?" says Kelly.

"She's the one with a leg amputated below the knee", says Hanna

"I know that, but I don't like to focus on her handicap. I just didn't know he was still with her", says Kelly

"Right. So with two more mouths to feed, Grace wants a bigger fridge", Hanna says.

"I'll take a look. If the price makes sense"

That would reduce our dependency on Kelly, which is a good thing. It doesn't mean ignoring her, but it means we don't need to always share a meal with her.

It's nice; she is still good company, but her insistence on doing things together cannot shake from my mind the idea that it might be the price for letting us store food at her place.

It was starting to get chilly, so the three of us went into our house, and I fetched John, who was helping Luis and Martina to finish the roof on the third house.

"Thank you for fetching me", he told me once in the house.

"It didn't look like you needed rescuing"

"I didn't, until now. He wants to start on the fourth house, and I would like to sleep!"

"Wait, will he make a ton of noise?"

"Not for long, but we bought the books for our kids, and I'd like to spend time with you guys. Plus, after working, I need a wind-down before sleep, and we don't have a wall put up yet for my favorite sleep aid"

I laughed. Sleep aid... that's one way to call it.

We did the "beds" and read the stories, which was more complicated than anticipated. With the open flooring, we couldn't both read.

So, I went with Sarah outside, with a flashlight and a comforter to wrap us in.

It was like a private bubble.

When we came back, Kyle was deep asleep, and Sarah joined her brother and soon was in the dream world.

John was next, and for a little while, I just cuddled him for warmth and looked at the house. It wasn't completely dark as we had windows but not blinds yet.

I thought. Could this place feel like home? And I realized something: if home is where the heart is, the three people I love are sleeping in it.

<-#38: Overcoming Trauma#38: Back in Trauma